Week 2, You are a business

1.10.2018

Looking at some of these images are making me cringe, the quality is very bad. The ICM makes them look like camera shake of a novices, it’s making me laugh with embarrassment, but i guess thats the hole idea to get them to blurr, but whilst i work out the amount of ICM i require the process is alittle disconcerting. It makes me feel like i should go out and capture perfectly sharp landscape images, which i know is nonsense but its interesting to think about my initial reaction to the process, its going against everything i’ve learnt and read about to do with photography. It’s always about getting it sharp and in focus and here i am now purposely making it blurred and out of focus. It’s actually harder than i thought it would be, in camera to getting the desired look i’m after in my mind and mentally challenging to challenge my pre conceived ideas about the image production. If people viewed my work who didn’t know what i’m trying to achieve and experiment with they would think i’m not a very good photographer. I guess this is the trauma i’m experiencing, the thought that people will judge my work as amateur and not very good. 

My first shoot back from summer break. I’ve been struggling to think of what i wanted to focus on so after my webinar with Krishna i just went out and shot like she said to, here’s the image below. I’m continuing on from last modules multi layered images in the landscape. I’m experimenting this module with ICM and multi layers and double exposure. I’ve never done ICM before so it’s all new to me and harder than i thought. I can see in my minds eye image that i would like to create. As autumn approaches and i view the landscape i see all the colour appearing and changing daily. All the lovely autumnal colours i think would make great painterly effects as if a paintbrush covered with autumn colours has been swiped along the canvas. Thats what i see and what to create, much harder than i expected it to be. The f stop and shutter speed needs adjusting all the time to create different effects and the amount of speed and movement is important i’m finding. In the past i’ve created some interesting abstract images from mistakes from wrong setting and had a lovely surprise image, but when i’m trying to actually create that image on purpose its very difficult.

Here below are the final icm images from this shoot, some i’m finding interesting more than others. I like the really bright green and black abstract image and the yellow and blue one which you can tell still resemble trees. I trying to work out whether i want the image to be totally abstract or impressionistic of the place. At the moment i’ll just keep taking and exploring and see what happens.

2.10.18

The second shoot this week was contrasted to yesterday, blue sky are grey today, which has put me in a grey mood. I was in a mood today, feeling a bit sorry for myself and i didn’t want to go out and do anything, but i forced myself as i knew getting outside and the fresh air with walking in nature would help, if nothing else its a great place to let it all go into, This is why i love being outdoors so much, it lifts my spirits. So with a heavy heart and full mind i go out mainly for walking purposes but with my camera on my back. If i feel the urge to capture something then i will but i won’t force it. I’ll just go to make me feel better, thats more important than getting the image. As i walked around the lake as always it draws me into its world and i’m thinking of it not me. I love watching the wildlife on the lake, as this time of year migrating geese, coots and swans are all on the lake fighting for their place to call home for the winter, the stories unfold before your eyes. I love watching it it makes me very happy and content. As you can see from above i did multi layered images again and i’ve started to incorporate one in focus image with a icm image, and i like some of the results, below are the final edit from todays shoot. 

You can see from my images how i take them, one focused then one ICM and merge them together, some ideas work better than others. What works in your head and what you can capture are two very different things. I’ve always said that about life in general. The fear you have in your mind regarding a situation is far worse than what reality holds, it’s never that bad as what we once feared because we don’t have enough faith in our own ability to cope with situations. 

I see things in my minds eye, in reality that i want to frame into existence, before i saw it it didn’t exist, but now it does for all to see. Only i see the world the way i see it and it’s unique to me and i love that about photography. I love the ability to go into another world, can’t you see what i see? 

Lectures



This week we have a lot of lectures going on, ones been cancelled and moved to next week but so far this week we’ve heard from Victoria Forest-book designer. www.designedbyvictoria.com 



A really interesting and useful lecture about book designer and the process involved, i think i will revisit it again to and write more notes on it. This is an area i would love to get into as i love books and over the years have collected many but with my constant moving around i have given them away and re collect the pattern is endless. One day i will have a great library of my own. Working in the houses i do as a private housekeeper i’ve been privileged to be around some great libraries and books and the principles are always kind and allow me to borrow, read, browse their book collections. I want to write a book one day and produce a few photograhy books, this subject goes into our weeks topic of business matters. I have no intention of being a freelance photographer, i’m to lazy and old to start that now, i’ll stick to private hk/cook to keep me employed. I’ve realised from doing this MA i’ve been working on a long term project without realising it. Life as a modern day housekeeper for the privilege few, I’ve always used my work to take me to places that i’ve wanted to explore, or just felt that the place would give me inspiration, i’ve turned down jobs as i don’t feel the place in terms of my photography. Now i’m learning more about my work in practice i will be still making choices about my work place but maybe with a different thought behind it from before. Instead of being about the landscape, even though thats still important to my mental health, i’ll look for the narrative.